Can You Hear Me Now?

Today I went to the ear doctor.  So what?, you say–  big ball of wax.  And indeed, my right ear had a big ball of wax that this good man (handsomely paid, as he should be, as his job is literally removing wax from people’s ears) gingerly took out.  And after learning all sorts of things about one’s ear that I’d never known (Never, ever put q-tips in ’em!  A small layer of wax is necessary, akin to how a layer of tears keeps the eyes lubricated!  Miniscule men from Malaysia live in your eardrums and pass messages back and forth, and one of ’em goes on break, that’s why you hear better in a certain ear!), I returned to the outside world finally able to hear, completely and truly.

The joke is, I'm deaf. Get it?

The Beethoven (Consecration of the House Overture in C, Opus 124 performed by the Philadelphia Orchestra) on the car radio could be heard loud and clearly, and yes I comprehend that irony!  The sounds of car horns, tires squealing and rubber on the road blended to form a symphony!  I flipped around and found The Boss down the dial…  suddenly Radio Nowhere was everywhere.

But then I heard the girl at the coffee shop mutter something about how I only tip now and then.  I heard the policeman who pulled me over wonder why I was drinking at 10:43 on a Wednesday morning?  I heard the dude in the elevator remark that he thought my argyle socks and grey sweater vest made me look like a tool.

I went back to the ear doctor, and I had him put that big ball of wax back in my ear.

Has deafness ever looked so good?

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One Response to “Can You Hear Me Now?”

  1. Angie Says:

    this made me laugh. and miss you a lot! please come visit the west side before you get go to law school/get married/settle down on the east coast forever!

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