The heartthrob of suburbia

Hello, I'm on The CW.

True story (and, sincerely, not like a desperate comic who starts out with True story…).  So, true story:  A couple of days ago I was at the local supermarket, armed with a long list and a little piece of plastic to pay for it.  I happened to be dressed pretty well for the supermarket:  khakis, which are the standard white guy suburban uniform; tucked-in, button-down shirt, and a black pullover with the collar popped.  (Not as well dressed as the elder gentleman who wear a three-piece suit to the grocery store.  It was like peering into the future.)  All very Banana Republic, and I was fresh scrubbed, too.

I was chatting with the overworked, late-60’s, worn-down checkout woman about, well, who remembers, really, when she asked me if I watched the TV program Gossip Girl.  Abstaining from saying, “Do I watch Gossip Girl?  Are you out of your mind?”, I went with, “No.”  She proceeded to tell me how I looked like and sounded like an actor on the show, some dude named Ed Westwick.  I asked her if this was a compliment, and she replied, “Oh yes, very.  All we girls like him.”  What could I do?  I thanked her and offered to buy her a drink.

As I drove home I just wasn’t sure whether to be flattered, or to have a good cry.

Poor guy. People probably call him 'Wally' all the time.

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8 Responses to “The heartthrob of suburbia”

  1. Elin Says:

    I will never, ever, hear the phrase “true story” again without thinking of Pat Robertson and the Haiti earthquake. Twit (Robertson not you!).

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  4. Penny Says:

    Fresh scrubbed. I love it. You are too funny. You my friend spend far too much time at Kings.

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