Thank you, Hackensack’s finest (True Story IV)

First, a little blog housekeeping:  During last night’s two-in-a-row! Mets victory, pitcher Ryota Igarashi strained his left hamstring during a bizarre play, and will have an MRI today.  We here at This Way to the Egress hope his recovery gives him plenty of time to rent Robert DeNiro and Megan Fox flicks.

Also regarding yesterday’s post:  We here at This Way to the Egress heard from more than a few readers who had apparently skipped the pedantic, banal words in favor of the salacious pictures.  We apologize for that, and will not resort to those cheap tactics in the future.

Now, another installment in our popular ‘True Story‘ series:

Um, yes Officer?

True story:  One time, some long forgotten morning (with the vaguest definition of the word morning available), I was driving down the familiar roads to The Office (not that one), having half my customary breakfast in the car (large mocha, skim milk, with–listen, this is very important, a lot of baristas mess this up: an almost imperceptible amount of chocolate, and a non-too-ripe banana) when I finished the delicious banana, rolled down the window, and tossed the peel out the window.

Well.  An undercover patrol car, filled with two plainclothes officers from Hackensack’s finest, pulled me over.  Have you ever been pulled over by an undercover patrol car?  It’s a harrowing experience.

Not being able to figure out which of the multiple driving infractions they had busted me for this sleepy AM, I was perplexed.  I was even more perplexed when they informed me I was littering, and wrote me a ticket for “… throwing a cutting or injurious object.”

Wait, how did this get in here?!

My confusion soon gave way to me feeling apoplectic.  Using the best web sites the Internet has to offer, I printed out realms of information (on scrap paper, of course) on how much more likely a banana peel is to disintegrate naturally, on the side of a road, than in a landfill.

My attorney (partner at the firm, friend of the blog, lawyer with way more important things to do than keep me out of trouble, a shout-out to Mr. Michael R. Mildner!) told me, in no uncertain terms, to keep my big mouth shut.  And while we went to court (and a subsequent dinner at Morton’s, which was a better use of my moolah than giving it to Hackensack’s finest), he got the matter dismissed.  Tossed out properly, like, say, trash, not litter.

To t his day, I don’t think tossing a banana peel out of a moving car is littering.  But I don’t do it.  Thank you, Hackensack’s finest.

Is there a problem, Officer?

True story.


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