The Road Not Taken

Sometime This Way to the Egress shares surprising news.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:  New Haven, Connecticut:

Just in time for the forthcoming 2010-2011 school year, Yale School of Nursing proudly announces an ambitious new signing:  Noted Infamous Writer / Actor / Director Wally Marzano-Lesnevich will be taking the prestigious Bob Leslie-Duncan Chair of Nursing.  Despite his background as one who is averse to any and all scientific courses (indeed, who faints at the sight of blood, or even the word) and zero training in this highly demanding area, the university feels lucky to sign him.  “We just think what nursing is missing is someone who’s pithy comments and devil-may-care demeanor can be passed on to the terminal patients,” Louise Fletcher, current acting head of the school, said.  “As for the idea that he’s never diagnosed and knows less than nothing about medicine, well…  tell that to Patch Adams, bitches.”  When reached for comment, Marzano-Lesnevich had this to say:  “It’s a huge opportunity.  Ever since I saw Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents, I’ve wanted to be a murse–  a male nurse.  And I have taken the occasional improv class, and watched a boat load of e/r back in college, so I mean, c’mon, how hard can it be?  I’ll be fine.”  During this interview, it should be noted that as Marzano-Lesnevich addressed the press, a 92-year-old man on the gurney behind him bled to death.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:  New Haven, Connecticut:

Yale School of Nursing quadruples malpractice insurance.

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One Response to “The Road Not Taken”

  1. Marielle Says:

    Very funny Wally:) love the male nurse quote

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