Twelve Rejected Halloween Costumes

Um, no.

Well, it’s a crisp autumn day, there’s a lit pumpkin on my porch–  Halloween’s almost here.  I know what I’m going to be (shh, we can’t tell you), but, as a public safety announcement, we here at This Way to the Egress are pleased to put together a list of rejected Halloween costumes.  Seriously, don’t dress up as these this October 31st:

former BP Chief Tony Hayward (“Uh, yeah, that’s chocolate on my hands…  yup, chocolate.”)

Tea Partier (“I’m a libertarian–  I don’t want your candy.”)

No.

Democratic Congressional Representative (“No, that’s crazy–  we didn’t pass a health care bill, or a stimulus that averted a further recession, or education or credit card reform.  Nope, not us.”)

Masturbating Christine O’Donnell (“Hands where we can see ’em, lady.”)

Witch Christine O’Donnell (“Wow, she rode off on her broom.  Sweet special effects.”)

Author Justin Bieber (“Yes, I wrote this.  Yes, I know how to write.  Yes, I know how to spell.  Uh…  okay…  H-A…  uh…”)

Hysterical Glenn Beck (“I’m sorry, honey, the costume only comes in one size.”)

Prisoner Lindsay Lohan (“Do I really have to carry this DVD of Georgia Rule around all night?”)

No.

Departing Bobby Cox (“I’m doing my best Grady Little imitation.”)

10 pm Jay Leno (“Honey, I know you want people to like you ,but take off your Coco mask.  Take it off!”)

Umpire Jim Joyce (“Improper trick-or-treat, no candy for you!  Oh, wait, okay, he can have candy.”)

Last Chilean Miner (“Hey, where’d everybody go?  Seriously, what’s everybody watching?  Hello?  Anyone?  Guys?  Whoa, I’m on the computer!”)

Yes.

And the one Halloween costume recommended by this blog this year:

“Oh, that is an adorable Landon Donovan costume!  Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll come alive in the second half of the party.”

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